•     THE "NIGERIAN ENGLISH" SYNDROME
  

 SOURCE : NAIRALAND ; BUZZ NIGERIA





    There are two kinds of English language are recognized in the world today – The British English and the American English. Nigeria, being colonized by Britain is supposed to speak the British English by default. But today we have found ‘our own way’ of communicating among ourselves with almost total disregard for the rules of the language. Some even boast about it, calling it the “Nigerian English.” Below is a list of some words/phrases we imported into the English language that are not (and will never be) recognized internationally. This distinction
is important for mutual intelligibility in international communication in English.



Complimentary Card: This is what we call a “business card.” This phrase is very senseless because the word “complimentary” simply means “free,” (example: “the artiste gave me a complimentary copy of his new CD”). So a “complimentary card” will simply mean a “free card” and therefore has nothing that denotes business or work.

Upliftment: This is a word so common among the Nigerian populace. We use it to mean “improvement.” We invented it as a forward-formation from “uplift.” But in Standard English, “uplift” is both a verb and a noun. For instance, we say, “my
foundation will ensure the moral upliftment of the society,” but it should actually be, “my foundation will ensure the
moral uplift of the society.”

Working Experience (as used in CVs): This is another phrase which I don’t know where it was imported from. So many Nigerian graduates prepare their CVs with the phrase “Working experience” when it should actually read, “Work experience.” May be ‘the experience’ in question is actually a human that is working, pooh!

Disvirgin: This word is used on a daily basis across all sector of the Nigerian society, when they intend to say that a woman has lost her virginity or that they are using something for the first time. The correct word to use, however, is deflower, because “disvirgin” is not even a word.

Cross-carpeting: Ask a Nigerian politician or political analyst about a politician who have dumped his political party for another party, usually a rival party and the first word you are surely going to hear from his mouth is “cross-carpeting”. The right words to use when describing this scenario are “crossing the floor,” “party switching,” and “defection” and not “cross-carpeting.”

Plumpy: Nigerians really have a way with words. The word “plumpy” in used in Nigeria to describe someone who is plump or slightly fat. It was gotten from the combination of the words “plump” and “chubby.” The correct expression is “plump”

Yesteryears: This old fashioned word, which is sometimes used for literary effects, has no plural in Standard English. It remains “yesteryear” whether it is in used a singular or plural context.

Installmentally: This word is a favorite of many Nigerians especially, between traders and customers but, sadly, it simply does not exist in any standard dictionary. It is used to denote a bit by bit payment for item and commodities. The correct rendition of the word is “in instalments” or “by instalments.”

Cunny: This is a word which Nigerians use to describe someone that is being deceitful or crafty but it is not a word in Standard English. The correct term to use is “cunning” and not “cunny.”

Outrightly: In Standard English, these word is an adjective and not an adverb, and as such, it does not take the “-ly” form in the sense of “beautifully,” “utterly,” etc. And I think someone should tell Nigerians this.

On/Off the light: Still on the confusion of parts of speech, we sometimes use expressions like “off the light,” “on the light,” etc as if “off” and “on” were verbs. How dare you say that? (I can almost hear someone say that) But “Put/switch off/on the light” is the preferred alternatives in
Standard English.

Wash a negative: This phrase is common among photographers in Nigeria. “Develop a film” is the preferred way to say this. Films, (photographs and videos) are “developed” not “washed”

Wake-keeping: “Wake-keeping” exists only in the imagination of a few English speakers. As a matter of fact, there is no such thing as “wake-keeping or “wake-keep.” The correct word is “wake.” Both “wake-keeping” and “wake-keep” are both ungrammatical.

Tout- this word as been misused many times! Some one who disturb the peace of other people ,naughty, or behave in a silly way ,someone with bad character is called A Lout Nt a tout

food seller-it is called food vendor not "food seller"

Indomie-its a brand name its is calle "noodles" golden penny noodles can not be called indomie unless you want to get INDOMIE NOODLES all is not indomie

"birds of tHE same feather...." it is BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER

fish seller-it is fish monger

"provision container"-it may not be a container but it is called KIRK

PROPERTIES-it is property it can not be properties

garium- its is called garri nt garium

machine-there are many machine not only the one use for transport but for the one use for transport it is "motor bike"

st james's-its wrong (st james')correct

baaf-it is bath

quaya-very wrong it is called choirRadionic-does repairing radio tv etc are also known as engineers

flit- some also called all insecticide "raid" its wrong

anniversary-is been misused "YEARLY ANNIVERSARY" IS wrong anniversary is a yearly event ,no need of adding yearly

an european man" it is wrong it is "a european man" the pronunciation is "jeuro" nt "euro" in oral english

ma-clean- is a kind of tooth paste brand name so its informal to be use for all kind me tooth paste

extra tire- its wrong (spare tire)correct

junior/senior-you can only have junior or senior in school ,work place etc siblings can be YOUNGER /OLDER





JANZ-CALLING DRUM set such name is wrong

Globe-its called "bulb" . Calling it globe is very wrong

fannimorous-this is not an english words ,so its incorrect. it was just a slang invest in nigeria in which up coming generation are now using

"......press my cloth"-to iron a cloth is not to press it this is incorrect

ragolise-this is also wrong ,it is called "table water" also known as bottle water

hold up/go slow-both were incorrect its "bad traffic" when the tGlobe-its called "bulb" . Calling it globe is very wrong

fannimorous-thisraffic is good then its good

toast- its impossible to TOAST a girl.it was not also correct to be used in such sitation.the word toast as many meaning,eg toast-bread ,you can only woo a girl

gala-gala is a brand name of a "beef /susage roll" and their many type of all this snack type so to call it in general it is a beef-roll

minerals-its not possible to drink MINERALS,THEY are harmful substance eg petrol kerosine etc also minerals resource like gold /silver its is calle BEVERAGES nt minerals

Read math-some student do make mistake of this ,you can only work out math

ear piece-its called ear phone,why some people thought "ear piece" is different but this is wrong its not

drop-this word is always been misused it is impossible for "human being to drop from a vehicle" you can "get off the car"

escort-this is also been misused "to escort a friend of yours out" is wrong ,you are not a security agent only security agent do escort.you can accompany him/her out

kid- this is informal to be use for human being its mostly use for goat young ones !

Charging point- its called "charging port"

"in my bed" -you can't be in the bed it is "on my bed"

garage-this is also been misused ,GARAGE is a place where vehicle are park in a specific building or house,while MOTOR PARK is where u can get a bus or car when travelling

miss call- "i saw your miss call" is very wrong! Who miss the call? Was it not you? Then why saying "your" it is I SAW MY MISS CALL,THEN i NOTICE IT WAS YOU"

Radionic-does repairing radio tv etc are also known as engineers

flit- some also called all insecticide "raid" its wrong

anniversary-is been misused "YEARLY ANNIVERSARY" IS wrong anniversary is a yearly event ,no need of adding yearly

an european man" it is wrong it is "a european man" the pronunciation is "jeuro" nt "euro" in oral english

ma-clean- is a kind of tooth paste brand name so its informal to be use for all kind me tooth paste

extra tire- its wrong (spare tire)correct

junior/senior-you can only have junior or senior in school ,work place etc siblings can be YOUNGER /OLDER

JANZ-CALLING DRUM set such name is wrong

Globe-its called "bulb" . Calling it globe is very wrong

fannimorous-this is not an english words ,so its incorrect. it was just a slang invest in nigeria in which up coming generation are now using

"......press my cloth"-to iron a cloth is not to press it this is incorrect

ragolise-this is also wrong ,it is called "table water" also known as bottle water

hold up/go slow-both were incorrect its "bad traffic" when the tGlobe-its called "bulb" . Calling it globe is very wrong

fannimorous-thisraffic is good then its good

toast- its impossible to TOAST a girl.it was not also correct to be used in such sitation.the word toast as many meaning,eg toast-bread ,you can only woo a girl

gala-gala is a brand name of a "beef /susage roll" and their many type of all this snack type so to call it in general it is a beef-roll

minerals-its not possible to drink MINERALS,THEY are harmful substance eg petrol kerosine etc also minerals resource like gold /silver its is calle BEVERAGES nt minerals

Read math-some student do make mistake of this ,you can only work out math

ear piece-its called ear phone,why some people thought "ear piece" is different but this is wrong its not

drop-this word is always been misused it is impossible for "human being to drop from a vehicle" you can "get off the car"

escort-this is also been misused "to escort a friend of yours out" is wrong ,you are not a security agent only security agent do escort.you can accompany him/her out


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© UNIBEN GOSSIP 2018

A gang of kidnappers struck at kwara state university malete in Moro local government area of the state Thursday afternoon and kidnapped six students.
One of the victims, a 200 Level student of the department of Mass Communication at the Kwara State University, (KWASU) Malete, Dorcas Oluwatimilehin Olanrewaju was however lucky as she was released Friday morning by the abductors .
Father of the victim, Mr Layiwola Olanrewaju, journalist and state correspondent of the Sun Newspapers who confirmed this development with Saturday Vanguard said her daughter was released by the abductors in Omuaran his hometown.
The kidnappers while conveying the students through the town were said to have inquired of her town and dropped her off and left with other students.
Saturday Vanguard gathered that Dorcas and others were abducted on Thursday afternoon on their way to the campus in Malete.
It was also gathered that the victims had left off-campus residence to write an examination and boarded one of the campus shuttle vehicles when they were eventually driven to an unknown destination.
Apparently sensing danger in the circumstances she had found herself, it was learnt that Dorcas the lucky one, quickly sent a text message to one of her friends to inform her that she had been taken away by some unidentified persons suspected to be ritualists. Dorcas narrated her ordeal in the hands of the kidnappers.
How I escaped
“While in the taxi I boarded, a woman in the vehicle complained of feeling cold, so the glass windows were closed up. I then lost consciousness immediately. I later found my self among some people in the night.
“We were about 13 in the place as at Thursday night but the ritualists have taken six victims away. They told us that they were heading to Ekiti state. I was kept inside the booth of the vehicle. When we got to Offa, they asked of my hometown and I told them that I was from Omu Aran. So, when they wanted to take water for the faulty radiator of the vehicle at Omu Aran, I was dropped and set free, unknown to them, that it was in front of my father’s house”, she said.
Speaking on the development, the Director, university relations, Dr. Isiaka Aliagan, said that security had been beefed up on Malete route, around the campus and Malete environ to keep criminals at bay, adding that armed police patrol had been deployed on the route and regular checking of vehicles intensified since yesterday.
According  to him, “A 200 Level Mass Communication female student of Kwara State University (KWASU), Malete was reportedly kidnapped by unknown person(s) yesterday but later dropped at Omuaran where she was found.
He said, “ Preliminary information available to us indicated that she reportedly left the premises of ongoing examination to her off-campus hostel to pick her course registration form, after which she went missing.
‘The university learnt that she sent a distress call through her mobile phone indicating that she could not identify the location at which she had been dropped.
“ Immediately they were alerted, officials of KWASU Safety unit swung into action by contacting the security operatives and telecommunication agencies to track the phone”.
Ahagan added, “the female student had been picked up by the police. Officials of KWASU Safety unit and her parents were invited to the Omuaran police station to pick her up.
“KWASU management would like to stress that all efforts were made to secure the lives of its students staying on both campus and off-campus hostels, while all commercial transport operators were duly registered with the university to ensure proper monitoring of their activities”.
Speaking on the development, the police public relations officer (PPRO) of the state police command, Ajayi Okasanmi, said that the command had commenced investigation on the matter, adding that the report had been circulated to police formations within and outside the state towards possible arrest of the suspected hoodlums and safe return of the victims.
‘’We are very hopeful that others will be recovered alive and will be united with their families,‘’ police spokesman assured.

SOURCE : VANGUARD

The Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB), organiser of the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME), has banned the use of wrist watches and pens during the conduct of its 2018 test.

The board’s Registrar, Prof. Is’haq Oloyede disclosed this to newsmen on the sideline of a sensitisation workshop for Computer Based Test (CBT) centre owners on Wednesday in Lagos.

According to him, the workshop was to appraise the registration and conduct of the 2017 examination.

“What we are doing here today is to appraise the registration and conduct of our past examination and we have taken some lessons from our experience.

“To this end therefore we have introduced some measures that will further add to the integrity of the registration process as well as the conduct of the examination proper.

“For instance, we discovered during the conduct of the last examination that some electronic devices such as pens, wristwatches and other devices were used to perpetrate examination malpractice.

“So, for next year, we have banned the use of wristwatches and pens by candidates and other persons in the examination hall.

“We are also going to introduce some detection devices to ensure that those who plan to cheat in the examination hall are frustrated, as we will also jam (communication network) of the centres,” he said.

Oloyede noted that the sale of the registration document for the 2018 UTME would commence before the end of November.

“We are planning to meet with all stakeholders on Nov. 15 and the sale of the registration document will definitely commence before the end of this month.

“But before that, we expect candidates to go and download our app, go to our website and download the syllabus and brochure, so that they can now study the process.

“This is in order to minimise the errors that usually occurs during the registration process,” he said.

The JAMB boss added that not less than 617 centers have been accredited nationwide for the exercise.

“We are still considering about 60 more centers as we have their applications waiting for consideration.

“However, a total of 72 centers nationwide have earlier been delisted owing to their involvement in some infractions and they remain delisted.”

On the board’s plan to construct mega CBT centers for its examinations, Oloyede said: “The mega center plan is still on, we said that last year.

“But the process of planning will take some time.

“There will be design, there will be contact with private operators, just as there will be advertisements and also due process will be followed,” he said.

Earlier, Oloyede called for the support of the CBT centre owners in checking anti-examination activities capable of compromising the examination.

“While thanking you for your deligence during the 2017 examination, we want to seize this opportunity to inform you of the flagging off of the 2018 excercise.

“We will like to also assure you that we will make use of the best CBT centres in the coming examination.

“You will be culpable if you do not expose any CBT centre that is doing what is evil because they will attract condemnation from all of us.

“It is on this premise that we are appealing that you assist us in identifying the bad eggs among you and ensuring that they do not participate in our activities,” he said.

According to him, monitoring starts from the time of arrival of the centre owners to the workshop.

He added that during the 2018 UTME examination, the board would include some other requirements for CBT centres.

“We are not going to accept wireless CCTV cameras. Any examination conducted in any CBT centre that we cannot monitor from Abuja will not be paid for.

“The onus is on you to ensure that your CCTV are working and must be on and no CBT centre is allowed to sell any kind of materials under the guise of past questions
.
SOURCE⏩⏩DAILY POST NG

secure admission in the institution in the 2017/2018 academic session.
Bellow said although 32,000 applicants to the university scored 200 marks and above in this year’s Unified Tertiary matriculation examination (UTME), the school would only admit 8,000.
Bello whose tenure as vice chancellor expires on November 11 explained that the aim was to promote excellence.
“We know what goes on in our public examinations. That is why we insist on candidates undertaking our post UTME and scoring at least 40 per cent,’’ he said.
“We admit the best so that we can produce the best,” he told newsmen on Thursday.
He said that the university held 75 inaugural lectures during his five-year tenure in an effort to promote scholarship.
Speaking further, the professor of chemical engineering, noted that the university had held a total of 374 inaugural lectures since its existence.
“They just don’t come and get them; the process of becoming a professor in UNILAG is very tedious.
“We have peer review from inside and outside and we have interview internally, so that at the end, you know why you are promoted or why you are not,’’ he said.
Few days ago, the management of the institution withdrew the admission list for candidates who have chosen to study in the university during the 2017/2018 academic session over alleged irregularities.

SOURCE⏩⏩ DAILY POST
                        ONTV

Senior Staff Association of Nigeria Universities (SSANU) has threatened to resume strike over failure of the Nigerian government to honour the agreement earlier reached with the union in September.
A meeting of the Joint Action Committee (JAC) of the three non- teaching staff in the universities comprising SSANU, non Academic Staff Union (NASU) and NAAT has been fixed for next Tuesday to fix a day to commence the action
SSANU National President and Chairman of JAC, Comrade Samson Chijioke Ugwoke, stated this yesterday while speaking at the 32nd National Executive Council (NEC), meeting at University of Port Harcourt, Rivers State.
Ugwoke said that the Union is not intimidated by the plan by the federal government to implement the no work, no pay policy, stressing that “it will be morally and legally wrong if the government should go contrary to the agreement it entered into with the association and expect SSANU not to react”.
He also condemned the continuous victimisation of some of its members by the authorities of University of Abuja and the alleged plan to hand over staff school of the University to the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), State Universal Basic Education Board (UBEB).
Ugwoke lamented that that the federal government has failed to implement all the agreements it entered into with the union before the industrial dispute declared by it was called off.
He said: “We had issues like earned allowances, short falls in salary, staff schools matter, non- implementation of the judgment of the National Industrial Court which we got against the federal government to recall all teachers back to their offices etc, we had an MoU with the federal government in January after a one week warning strike.
“From January to September, the federal government did not do anything as regards the MoU (Memorandum of Understanding) signed in January and that necessitated our second strike which was indefinite.
“We entered into an MoU on salary shortfalls, a development that has never happened before in the university system where staff are paid fractional salaries.
“We objected to that and the federal government promised the money. Information reaching me shows that up till now, not all the universities have received the shortfall.”

SOURCE: DAILY POST